Featuring art from Sarah Bahbah, here is my perspective on the scenarios her art depict, talking about everything from fuckboys to self-love. My way of celebrating Women’s History month.
In celebration of Women’s History Month, this post is all about scenarios or situations most women can relate to. All the pictures in this post features art from @Sarahbahbah.
Sarah Bahbah is a young Palestian photographer, that was raised in Australia and is currently living in Los Angeles. She is writer first, that uses her art to express emotions or thoughts that she would usually surpress. You have probably come across her art on Instagram, she creates very urban, triggering and highly relatable art. In an interview with Forbes.com when asked how she hopes her art affects women in terms of embracing themselves and their sexuality. She said…
“As women we need to feel ownership over our indulgences, our pleasures and teaching others how to please us…
Many of us have inherited boundaries that are unnecessary and unkind, I am an advocate for doing away with over-thinking it, and claiming that freedom moment to moment.”
This is exactly how her art makes me feel since I recently discovered it. Thoughts I would usually not be very comfortable to voice out, her art speaks for me. I hope all women that read this can find something relatable here, this is for you all.
But why? If he can’t notice you alive what makes you think he would notice you when you’re close to death? Have you ever seen yourself going out of your way to get the attention of some guy that really goes out of his way to ignore you?
Well, I have. It sucked, I think a part of me was seeking validation from his attention. Guess who never really got it? Me. Then I realized he was super annoying and I actually couldn’t have a proper conversation with him so that was the end of that.
Are you trying to get a “revenge body” so he can notice you? Honey, he still has the power over you as long as your actions are motivated by his reaction. Do it for you, do everything for you.
Lesson: never do anything for them, do you. Flourish.
2. The Overreacting Card a.k.a You’re Crazy
You have arguments with people (especially men) and they want to make you feel like you’re mad or overreacting. But you know your parents did not raise a crazy person. They make you feel like your opinion is not valid or is a product of a hyper-active imagination.
All that time you spent explaining yourself seems like a waste. Honestly speaking, some people would never get it, and trying to get them to see it from your perspective is like talking to a brick wall. They don’t even try to put themselves in your shoes. Sometimes they claim to “get it”, but their words and actions show the exact opposite.
I just want you to know that your opinion is valid and you don’t need to doubt yourself all the time. Some people are skilled manipulators that would always try to turn the tables round. Be wary of them, being around that type of energy is bad for your skin girl.
3. A Mood / Professional 3rd Wheeler
It is funny how you could be perfectly fine with being single but many people around you aren’t. You have people asking when you are calling them for aso-ebi or telling you that you are too pretty to be single. You also hear a lot of she is successful, great personality, wealthy but “unfortunately she is single”. Well, excuse me but being single is not an “unfortunate situation”. Especially, when there is research that shows married women tend to have shorter life spans than single women.
Being single is actually really fun, and sometimes that’s exactly where you need to be to figure things out. Single women do not always have issues, sometimes it is just a choice or a matter of not finding anyone yet. There is time to discover yourself, be selfish, enjoy your own company and give attention to the other relationships in your life.
Granted there are somedays, it would be nice to have someone to cuddle with and all that, but if we are being honest most times cuddling your pillow just feels more comfortable.
Many of us, have that couple friend that we would happily 3rd wheel with. Personally, I enjoy being around people in love, it’s nice to watch, other times it gets lonely when you know there is no comfy plus one waiting for you when you leave them.
But seeing the different ways couples show love, it teaches you a lot about the individuals and also about yourself. I see some of my friends relationships and I’m like nope this can never be me. Other times I am left feeling inspired by them (like they are lowkey goals you know.)
My best thing to do with my favourite couple to third wheel with was Iroko/Netflix/YouTube & Chill. Shoutout to Tanna and Nomso, you guys are the realest.
4. Dealing with Bullshit Conversations
There are different types of bullshit conversations. But the top on my list would definitely be talking to extremely sexist men. It is one of the most cringeworthy scenarios to be in, because almost everything they say requires an eye roll in response. They can barely even get through one sentence without saying something that sounds mildly or grossly offensive.
Another type of bullshit conversation, are the ones filled with lies. When you know the truth and the person is just saying all the things they think you want to hear. But your mama didn’t raise no fool. There are times you let them finish just so you can point out the many things that do not add up.
An ode to those bullshit conversations that you could not escape because “respect your elders”. The ones you have to go through because of work, life and duty calls. so you endure it, just cause. We really try as women to be honest.
5. Surviving Heartbreak:
Heartbreak is not easy at all. The pain feels almost physical at times, your heart can technically not break but it can definitely hurt a lot. Which is what heartbreak is, a hurting heart.
You may be going through heartbreak now and may feel like the pain is unending. But trust me, it gets better. Time just has a way of soothing all pain.
It is just like when you get a deep cut then it bleeds for a while, you have to treat that part of your skin with care. You first try to stop the bleeding. Then you clean it often. It might be tough to do this, but you are patient anyways. Slowly your skin grows back, you heal and all that’s left is a scar.
Heartbreaks run deep, but even the deepest of cuts heal. You would survive it, you can survive this. The pain would end. Time is really all you need. Never beat yourself up about how long it takes you to get over heartbreak. You are allowed to mourn and take all the time you need.
But never forget you are a woman, you are made of magic and you will glow after this.
6. The Beauty of Female friendships
There is nothing that can top having a real bond with your girlfriends. It becomes a sisterhood of genuine love, joy, happiness and of course drama from time to time.
I always feel sorry for girls that say they don’t get along easily with girls and have mostly male friends.
Just know you’re missing out on a lot honey. I mean I was once the girl that thought guys would make better friends than girls. However, life taught me otherwise and I’m blessed with so many amazing girlfriends I wonder what the hell I was thinking then.
Although, I have amazing male friends as well, the bond I share with some of my girlfriends can never even come close.
Girls just tend to get it more, plus they are able to show up and show out for you every time. Your girlfriends are like sisters from other mothers. One of the top best feelings in the world is having a cozy girls time with your favorite girls.
7. Dear heart, please give me the remote
When you’re on your own being a single pringle and then your heart starts acting up by catching feelings or falling in love. Now I can highkey relate to that.
I like being in control so it is always an inconvenience when my heart starts doing its own thing. I’m sure we can all relate to catching feelings for that person you weren’t even trying to like at all. Especially when you were trying to avoid the whole feelings brouhaha in the first place.
That’s just the way life goes, we cannot help what we feel. But you can control your actions, so always try to do that. Cause sometimes your heart can just decide to move mad and be loving scum anyhow.
8. Embracing your woman-ess and feminity wholeheartedly
For the longest time there were several parts of myself I wasn’t proud of. Many times I felt trapped, because I wasn’t being my true self. Can anyone relate?
There is this journey to self-discovery that most of us go through. We might go from not understanding or liking ourselves to getting to this space where we are content with who we are.
That contentment and peace when you are happy with the person you are and still becoming is freedom. The freedom to live your life unapologetically, truly it is amazing.
To any woman struggling with finding herself, just let go of anything and everything that doesn’t make you happy or give you peace. Life is short, why not live it freely than in bondage.
9. Ever been in a relationship alone?
Have you ever started liking or falling for someone, everything is going nicely and you can feel this is the beginning of something amazing. The butterflies in your tummy, the conversation, the connection and all that good stuff.
Suddenly when you have fallen deeply for the person. The switch up is real and you wonder if you were imagining the mutual connection you felt.
The honest truth is that the signs are always there when you are with a fickle lover. Or with someone that doesn’t care for you as much as you do. Being brutally honest with yourself and not settling for a lesser love than you deserve, really helps you avoid such situations.
Darling, don’t fall in love alone, don’t misinterpret signs that aren’t really there for something more. My new mantra is connections don’t mean shit, let actions be the new currency.
But not just all types of actions, if someone can love you even when it isn’t convenient for them. That’s usually a good place to start.
10. Note to Fuckboys
There are many fuckboys on the streets. You would expect that being a “fuckboy” they would have that one thing in check.
If you’re a fuckboy and you don’t know how to fuck you really don’t deserve the title. Please start being a good guy. You’re wasting women’s fuckboy experience by not being able to do the needful.
You have one job, besides being scum just live up to you name. Thanks.
11. Dear One Night Stand/Crush
Have you ever connected with someone super fast and it just felt like magical and all? Yeah, but then he doesn’t text back or starts acting dodgy or ends up having someone or he’s just not that into you.
All your dreams of what you guys could have been just goes to dust. Such is life, not every connection is meant to mean something. Some things are just one time things.
But can we briefly talk about those airport or destination crushes that you find so attractive. Although, most times you never get a chance to talk to them, you just check them out from a far. Other times you might lucky and get to have an awesome conversation with them. But then you know you’ll probably never see each other again. Life can really be a pot of beans sometimes.
12. Toxic love is never worth it
This is something dear to my heart because so many women experience this constantly. The society and media has given us several twisted versions and ideals of love.
Domestic violence and infidelity are normalized in many societies. Emotional and mental abuse are the norm to many people as well. Many women are settling to be and stay in these terrible conditions because they believe that it is the love they deserve. Toxic relationships come in different shapes and sizes so explaining it all would be very long.
But some questions you can use to evaluate what type of relationship you are in, are:
- Are you truly and genuinely happy with this person?
- Do you feel you are the best version of yourself with this person?
- The way the person loves you, is that how you want and need to be loved?
If the answers to any of these questions are no, then that’s a start. Love is not always easy, but it should never be that hard. You are not meant to be constantly hurting, doubting yourself, living in fear or feel trapped in it. Love should be effortless and easy with the right person.
I pray for all females trapped in toxic relationships of all sorts. I hope you get out one day to experience true happiness and peace that you definitely deserve.
13. To the ones that always come running back
Girls, put your hands up if you have had an ex/fling or whatever come running back to you, when you were over them.
*raises both hands*
There is always that guy that would take you for a mug, disrespect you or just do some other dumb shit to you. Sometimes they dump you or other times you get your senses and dump them first.
Point is you go through that period, missing them, pining for them or even willing to take their dumb asses back. But do they act right and come to beg for forgiveness? No, they never do.
When you have finally gotten over them, got your post fuck-boy glow going on, you’re happy or in a stable relationship or have found new D. They slide into your DM’s with the whole “I miss you”, “you’re the best I ever had”, “I was a fool then.” and more rubbish talk like that.
Girls, please don’t fall these lies, cause that’s exactly what they are most times. If he wasn’t willing to put in work then or act right, he probably wouldn’t be any different now. Sometimes you might decide to hit it one last time, or give them a mini-chance. But they never fail to remind you why you left them in the first place.
So honey don’t waste your new glow on old news. They weren’t worth it then, and they sure aren’t worth it now.
14. The Anti-feelings phase
Feelings can be such an inconvenience sometimes, especially when they are for the wrong person.
Who goes through that anti-love phase? When you’re just blocking all forms of feels or romance coming your way cause you need a break.
Well I’m currently here, telling feelings to fuck themselves cause I’m not here for the distraction. But guess who is still low key catching feelings? Me. I’m controlling it though, or at least I’m trying to.
Stressss of being a lover girl, which is why you can refer back to number 7. Don’t catch feelings for fuck boy though, always a waste of your time.
15. The best climax.
Self-love is a necessity that every woman should have or be working towards having. Daily we are reminded one way or another how women are still second class citizens. Media gives us unrealistic ideals of what we should look like. But everyone still expects us to sacrifice and give up parts of ourselves without even giving us the minimum respect we deserve.
Anyways back on the matter, self-love is amazing and has no bad side effects. Cause when you truly love yourself you have more love to give. You don’t accept sub-standard love or let anyone treat you less than you deserve. You respect and value yourself, which is able to show in your words and actions.
I am glad to be living in a time where more women are embracing self-love and unlearning the self-loathing ways many of us were socialized with. I hope this awakening continues and self-love would be a norm for women all over the world.
The journey to self-love is not even easy because we are constantly made to feel inadequate in many ways. But it’s a goal we should all strive for. If you don’t show yourself the best love you can muster, who else will?
16. The Overthinking burden
Being an over-thinker can be such hardwork at times. I know many women tend to over-think because we always need to be sure we are not making mistakes and such. But it really can be such a joy kill, you might just want to live in the moment and enjoy it.
Then your mind decides to start working in over drive and doing the most. It can really take the joy out of living. Which is why you need to free your mind from time to time. If you naturally over-think it is probably a habit by now, however everything can be unlearned.
To unlearn over-thinking, consciously remind yourself to relax and then stop when you start. Do not overthink scenarios that are yet to happen or those that have already happened.
Life would always throw its curveballs at you, but being happy makes it easier than being a nervous and bothered over situations beyond your control.
Friendly reminder, nothing lasts forever don’t stop smiling and believing. God is always there, trust his timing and let Him be in control. Let’s all encourage and help the women in our lives and those around us in anyway we can.
Happy International Women’s History Month! I’m proud to be a woman, and to be living in a time with many great women.
Till next time,